What If Family Disagree With Your Choice of Attorney?
Your choice of LPA attorney is yours alone — but handling family objections well protects everyone.
Written by James Tyrrell · Reviewed by Anthony Dalton · Last reviewed
As the donor of a Lasting Power of Attorney, you have the legal right to appoint whoever you choose as your attorney — and no family member can override that decision. But when relatives disagree with your choice, the resulting tension can strain relationships and, in some cases, lead to formal objections during registration. Understanding why disagreements happen and how to handle them gives you the best chance of setting up your LPA without lasting family conflict.
At a glance
- The choice of LPA attorney belongs entirely to the donor — family members cannot veto or override it
- Family can formally object to LPA registration, but only on specific legal grounds — not simply because they disagree with your choice
- Common reasons for disagreement include perceived unfairness, distrust of the chosen attorney, or feeling excluded from the process
- Open communication, involving family early, and considering compromise structures can prevent most disputes
- This guide applies to LPAs made under the law of England and Wales
Your Right to Choose Your Own Attorney
Under the Mental Capacity Act 2005, anyone aged 18 or over with mental capacity can create a Lasting Power of Attorney and appoint their own attorney. That right is personal and absolute. Your children, siblings, parents, or extended family have no legal say in who you choose.
This is a fundamental principle. The law treats you as an autonomous adult who is entitled to make your own decisions about who should manage your affairs if you lose capacity. Even if every member of your family thinks you have made the wrong choice, that does not change your legal right to appoint whoever you wish.
The only legal requirements for an attorney are that they must be aged 18 or over, and — for a Property and Financial Affairs LPA only — they must not be bankrupt or subject to a debt relief order. Beyond that, you can appoint a family member, a friend, a professional, or anyone else you trust. Read our guide on how to choose the right attorney for detailed advice on what to look for.
Key point: Your family may have opinions about your choice of attorney, but the decision is yours. No one can force you to appoint — or not appoint — a particular person.
Why Family Members Object to Attorney Choices
Family disagreements about LPA attorneys rarely come from nowhere. Understanding the common reasons behind objections helps you address them constructively rather than dismissing them outright.
Feeling excluded or overlooked
Adult children often expect to be appointed as attorney for their parents. When a sibling, a friend, or a new partner is chosen instead, they may feel rejected — even if your reasons are entirely practical. David, for instance, appointed his neighbour Helen as his attorney because his two sons lived abroad. His sons took it as a sign that he did not trust them, when in reality it was purely about geography.
Distrust of the chosen attorney
Sometimes family members have genuine concerns about the person you have chosen. They may have witnessed irresponsible behaviour with money, suspect the person is manipulative, or worry about a conflict of interest. When Pauline appointed her new partner, Martin, as her sole attorney after just eight months together, her daughter’s concerns were not about jealousy — they were about whether Martin had Pauline’s long-term interests at heart.
Worries about inheritance
An attorney on a Property and Financial Affairs LPA has significant control over the donor’s finances. Family members sometimes worry that the chosen attorney could spend down assets, make inappropriate gifts, or manage investments in a way that reduces their eventual inheritance. These fears are especially common in families where relationships are strained.
Sibling rivalry and family dynamics
Choosing one child over another as attorney can reopen old wounds. If one sibling has always felt less favoured, being passed over for the LPA can feel like confirmation. In families with existing tensions, the attorney appointment becomes a proxy for deeper issues about fairness and favouritism.
Can Family Members Block Your Choice of Attorney?
No. While you have mental capacity, no family member can prevent you from appointing your chosen attorney. They cannot refuse to sign a document, withhold consent, or block the LPA from being created. The decision sits with you and you alone.
However, family members do have a limited role during the registration process. When you apply to register your LPA with the Office of the Public Guardian (OPG), certain “named persons” — people you have listed on the LPA form — must be notified. They then have a window of time to raise an objection if they have valid grounds.
Additionally, the certificate provider who signs your LPA must confirm that you understand the LPA, that you have not been pressured into making it, and that there is no fraud or undue influence. If a family member has raised concerns about pressure or manipulation, the certificate provider has a duty to consider those issues before signing.
But none of this gives family members the right to block an LPA simply because they disagree with your choice. Disapproving of the person you have appointed is not a legal ground for objection.
The LPA Objection Process Explained
When an LPA is submitted for registration, certain people can formally object. Understanding this process helps you prepare for it and reduces the chance of surprises. For a full breakdown, see our guide on objecting to LPA registration.
Who can object?
The donor, the attorney, and any person named on the LPA as someone to be notified can raise an objection with the OPG. Additionally, anyone — including family members who are not named on the form — can apply to the Court of Protection to object, but they must have valid legal grounds.
What counts as valid grounds?
Objections to the OPG can be made on “factual grounds” — for example, that the LPA was not signed properly, that the donor has died, or that the attorney is bankrupt. Objections to the Court of Protection can be made on “prescribed grounds,” which include:
- The donor lacked mental capacity when they signed the LPA
- The donor was subjected to fraud or undue pressure
- The attorney is unsuitable — for example, due to a history of financial abuse
- The LPA does not comply with the legal requirements for a valid document
Crucially, “I think my parent should have chosen me instead” or “I don’t like the person they picked” are not valid grounds. The Court of Protection is concerned with legality and protection from abuse, not with family preferences. Our guide on whether an LPA can be challenged covers this in more detail.
Key point: A formal objection can delay LPA registration by weeks or months, even if it is ultimately unsuccessful. Preventing objections through early communication is far better than fighting them after the fact.
Preventing Family Disputes Before They Start
Most family disagreements about LPA attorneys can be prevented with the right approach. The key is to communicate early, explain your reasoning, and — where possible — structure your LPA in a way that addresses legitimate concerns without compromising your wishes.
Have the conversation early
Do not wait until the LPA is signed and submitted before telling your family. Our guide on how to have the LPA conversation with your family offers practical advice. Explain what an LPA is, why you are making one, and who you plan to appoint. Give people the chance to ask questions and voice concerns before everything is finalised.
Explain your reasons clearly
Family members are far more likely to accept your decision if they understand the thinking behind it. If you chose a particular child because they live nearby, say so. If you appointed a friend because they have financial expertise, explain that. When people understand the reasoning, they are less likely to take it personally.
Consider appointing multiple attorneys
If the disagreement centres on a particular family member feeling excluded, appointing more than one attorney may resolve the issue. You could appoint two children jointly, or appoint your preferred choice as primary attorney with the concerned family member as a replacement attorney. This gives everyone a role without compromising your first choice.
Add safeguards through instructions
If family members worry that your chosen attorney might misuse their powers, you can include instructions in your LPA that limit what the attorney can do without additional agreement. For example, requiring both attorneys to agree before selling property or making gifts above a certain amount. These restrictions can reassure concerned relatives.
Use a named person to notify
When you create your LPA, you can name up to five people to be notified when the LPA is registered. Including a concerned family member as a “person to notify” gives them a formal role in the process and an opportunity to raise objections if they have genuine grounds. This can feel more inclusive without changing your attorney choice.
When Family Concerns Are Valid
Not every family objection is unfounded. Sometimes relatives raise concerns that deserve serious consideration, even if they are uncomfortable to hear. It is worth listening carefully when family members suggest that your chosen attorney:
- Has a history of financial problems — an attorney who struggles to manage their own money may not be the best person to manage yours
- May be pressuring you — if a family member suspects that someone is influencing your LPA decisions for their own benefit, that is a serious concern
- Has a significant conflict of interest — for example, if your chosen attorney stands to benefit personally from decisions they would make on your behalf
- Is unreliable or difficult to contact — an attorney who cannot be reached when decisions need to be made creates real practical problems
The fact that a family member raises these points does not mean they are right. But dismissing all concerns without consideration can leave you vulnerable. If someone close to you has spotted a genuine risk, it is worth pausing to think about whether your choice still makes sense — or whether adjustments would strengthen your LPA.
Consider speaking to an independent professional if you are unsure. A solicitor or LPA service can help you assess whether the concerns have merit and how to address them within the structure of your LPA.
Practical Steps If Your Family Disagrees
If you are facing family opposition to your choice of attorney, here is a practical approach to work through it without giving up control of your own decision.
Listen before you react
Give your family member a genuine hearing. Ask them to explain specifically what concerns them. Are they worried about a particular risk, or are they hurt about being excluded? The answer determines your response.
Separate emotions from practical issues
A sibling upset about not being chosen is a different problem from a child who suspects your new partner is taking advantage of you. Emotional reactions need reassurance and explanation. Practical concerns need investigation and possibly structural changes to the LPA.
Explore compromise structures
You do not have to change your primary attorney to address concerns. You might add the concerned person as a second attorney, name them as a replacement, or list them as a person to be notified at registration. Each of these gives them a meaningful role without overriding your choice.
Consider mediation
If the disagreement is entrenched and family conversations are going in circles, a family mediator can help. Mediation provides a neutral space where everyone can express their views and work towards a resolution. It is far cheaper and less damaging than a Court of Protection dispute.
Make your decision and move forward
After listening, considering, and exploring alternatives, make your decision. You are not obliged to reach consensus. If you have thought it through carefully and your reasons are sound, proceed with your LPA. Delaying indefinitely because one family member objects leaves you unprotected — and that is the worst outcome of all.
Key Takeaways
- The choice is yours — as long as you have mental capacity, no family member can override or block your choice of LPA attorney
- Objections need legal grounds — family can object during registration, but only for reasons like fraud, undue pressure, or lack of capacity — not personal disagreement
- Communication prevents most disputes — explaining your reasoning early and openly reduces the chance of conflict later
- Compromise structures work well — adding a second attorney, naming replacement attorneys, or listing people to notify can address concerns without changing your primary choice
- Some concerns deserve attention — if family members raise specific risks about your chosen attorney, consider them honestly before proceeding
Common Questions About Family Disagreements Over LPA Attorneys
Can my family stop me from choosing my own LPA attorney?
No. As long as you have mental capacity, the choice of attorney is entirely yours. Family members cannot override or veto your decision. They can raise concerns, but they have no legal power to prevent you from appointing whoever you choose. The only requirement is that your chosen attorney is aged 18 or over and, for a Property and Financial Affairs LPA, is not bankrupt.
Can a family member object to my LPA being registered?
Yes, but only on specific legal grounds. When you apply to register an LPA, certain people — including close family members — can object to the Office of the Public Guardian. Valid grounds include that you were pressured into making the LPA, that you lacked mental capacity when you signed it, or that the attorney is unsuitable. Simply disagreeing with your choice is not a valid ground for objection.
What should I do if my children disagree with my choice of attorney?
Start by having an honest conversation about your reasons. Explain why you chose the person you did, and listen to their concerns. Sometimes family members object because they feel excluded or worry about a specific risk. You may be able to address their concerns by adding a second attorney, naming them as a replacement attorney, or including specific instructions in the LPA. If the disagreement continues, a family mediation service can help.
Does disagreeing with the choice of attorney count as grounds to challenge an LPA?
No. Personal disagreement with the donor’s choice is not a valid legal ground for challenging an LPA. The Court of Protection can only intervene on specific grounds such as fraud, undue pressure, lack of mental capacity, or an attorney acting against the donor’s best interests. If the donor made the decision freely and with full capacity, the choice stands regardless of whether other family members approve.
This guide was last reviewed and updated on . Information is based on current legislation and OPG guidance for England and Wales.
Official Guidance
Further reading from GOV.UK
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